Last installment, you discovered that you are a very complex holograph of personalities. You also learned that Shadows are fragmented pieces of your holograph—blocked energies that will express through your subconscious if you don’t pay attention. Since you can’t banish or destroy energy, you’ll have to find another way to get your Shadows to toe the party-line.
Having dealt with my own shadows over the last 20 years and having experienced the darkest expression of Shadow (which can be likened to Possession), I feel I may speak with confidence on the subject. One thing that these experiences have taught me is:
You are what you believe.
Everything you think, whether conscious or not, weaves into your reality, but the thoughts that carry emotion pack the biggest punch. The thoughts you feel are your beliefs. To change either the thought or the feeling changes the belief. Changing the belief changes your reality.
With this pearl of wisdom comes an even scarier understanding that you are responsible for your own reality. Since you have the power to change what you believe, holding your Shadows prisoner by denying them voices to effect change becomes an indefensible act of self-sabotage. You are miserable (in some ways) because you choose to do nothing about it. Of course this is all part of being human, but I thought I should point out that as adults, we’re the authors of our own horror stories.
Now if you need serious therapy or have horrific experiences in your life journey, meeting your Shadows without the guidance of a qualified therapeutic professional is strongly discouraged. I am not a qualified therapeutic professional. I’m more a fellow traveler who has seen enough and done enough to share her experiences and understandings with like-minded individuals.
So, that caveat expressed, let’s get started with an exercise.
I want you to make a list. This is the negative bucket-list where you write down the worst things you can remember about yourself. Example: I remember one time in band camp, I kissed this boy. Three years later, after having people rag me about this kiss, which for the life of me I couldn’t remember and denied vehemently, I remembered it in all its earth-shattering horror. And it hadn’t been horrible because of the boy: he was very sweet if a little forward. What had been horrible was that I had run my mouth without any consideration of what was coming out of it. Then my Shadow had deleted the event from my hard drive! Shadows are sneaky. Luckily, she had forgotten to empty the Recycle Bin.
That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. One of my Shadows is a motor-mouth; I’ve come to an understanding with her. These days she has safe people to chat with and we’ve even made it a game to see how long she can keep her counsel, even with the safe people. Otherwise, she’s a great conversationalist and she’s getting really good at shutting up. I’m so proud of her!
So if you’re a motor mouth and it’s ruining your peace of mind, put it on your list. Other negative top-of-the-listers could be inappropriate and rampant sarcasm or the overwhelming need to be in a relationship despite the “winners” you’ve picked in the past.
That’s my list (XD), what’s yours?