Okay, so you’ve got your Negative Bucket List (N.B.L.). If you don’t, then click here for the previous post.
The N.B.L. is actually the reverse of the bucket list of fun things you want to do before you die. This is the list of mean, stupid or embarrassing things you’ve done up to this point. You have been very brave, Grasshopper!
What does your list include? Is it events? Feelings? Things you said? Characteristics you don’t like about yourself? I know that sometimes people interpret the instructions differently and that’s O.K. Regardless of how you wrote down your N.B.L., you will analyze the list for commonalities.
If you wrote down events, what is the most common element to all of them? Or if it’s feelings, which one appears the most often in your expression? And if it’s things you said, what is the most common context? You’ll translate these commonalities into characteristics. Once you have a list of characteristics, then you are ready to get down to business.
Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept:
Pick the negative trait that seems to do you the most amount of collateral damage. I’m talking about the one trait that deviates the most from who you believe you are or from the person you want to become.
The link below will help you explore negative traits:
Using your N.B.L., learn what the labels are for your negative traits. This is like shining big, hot spotlights on your Shadows. They’ll appear blacker than ever but that’s a GOOD thing. You can’t address a problem until you know what it looks like from all the important angles.
Feeling discouraged or self conscious? Remember my Shadow, Motor-Mouth? This just goes to prove that EVERYONE has negative traits and that most of us agonize over one thing or another that we’ve said or done. Set self-consciousness aside with this simple technique:
Remember something you’ve said or done in the last month that causes you cringing discomfort (e-gads, that’s weekly for me!). If you haven’t done anything drastic that recently, go back a bit more than month.
Now, think about something someone else has said or done that made you think they were a complete douche bag lacking in intelligence, couth, and coolness. I want you to be as hard on this douche bag as you are on yourself.
Now, think about how easy it was for you to come up with something about what you’ve done wrong than it is for you to think about other people’s flaws. It was soooo easy for you to pick yourself apart, wasn’t it? You are your own worst critic. You are meaner to yourself than others are to you – even the douche bags.
Truth is, most people have the same distorted perspective of themselves that you have of yourself.
<Choir of Angels sing as the heavens open up in a blinding cascade of brilliance.>
That, magickal people in training, is an EPIPHANY.
So what have you decided your Collateral Damage Negative Trait (C.D.N.T.) is? Write it down.
Once you’ve finished that task, click here for your next mission.