I’ve been looking into idioms because often times they are wrapped up in absurd imagery. “I’ll fix your little red wagon” is an example. Here we have the image of the innoccuous childhood red wagon (think Flyer) representing the messy and diabolical urge to even the score. “A hair of the dog” means to do the very thing as a cure that made you miserable in the first place (have a shot of whiskey to nix that hangover, why don’t ya?).
I was hanging out on FaceBook (when I was supposed to be writing) and I came across this:
What shocked me was not that anyone had thought to shave a bear, but that the result looked like an honest-to-goodness werewolf! When I imagine a werewolf, I am actually visualizing a shaved bear. Go figure.
I’m just speculating here, but it seems a shaved bear is not a happy bear. I certainly can’t equate anything that looks like a werewolf with anything wholesome or cuddly. If you don’t see where I’m going with this, let me spell it out for you:
“Seriously, man, you don’t want to SHAVE THAT BEAR.
“Let sleeping dogs lie.”
This could apply in any situation where one might open a can of worms or rub a cat the wrong way only with more brutal consequences. A bear mauling is serious business.
Today, I want you to put this new idiom in your tool box. When your significant other, or a small child, is pestering you about doing something or other that would result in a figurative mauling (regardless of the maulee) I want you to pull this shiny, new idiom out and launch it fearlessly into the airspace. As you do so, I want you to savor the usefulness of the absurd and the cliche. I want you to remember me, the creator of such a ridiculous idiom, and I want you to laugh.
Feel free to post your favorite idioms in the comment section. I collect them. I use them. Choose wisely.
I.O. Kirkwood 