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Keep in mind that this a first person narrative based on reading and experiences over the years. I highly recommend that you do your own research. New discoveries are being made all the time. Bipolar is a physical illness in the brain, one that if not treated, has the potential to shrink the corpus callosumContinue reading “Relapse Is No Fun”

  I believe in telepathy. I believe in Twin Flames, but beliefs are irrational. I want facts. I want to confirm that I’m not crazy. Or that I am. There is the Man in my head. He speaks to me and no one else can hear him. But he isn’t a spirit guide because heContinue reading “Confessions of a Crazy Woman”

I have my outline, my sketches, and my worksheets all filled out. I spent most of October hidden away as I prepared for this triathlon of thought, imagination, and the clicking sounds of the keyboard. I’ve completed 25,000 words already and we’re only a third of the way through. I’m on fire! I’m also offContinue reading “NaNoWriMo: Introversion for Introverts”

I forgot to take my Lamictil last night. I feel like shit today. I took it this morning when I remembered but then I forgot to take my Prozac. I was dragging all day and nearly in tears because it was horrible. I didn’t feel half as bad as I did before medication. I’m surprisedContinue reading “A Bad Day: Why Medication Is NOT a Weakness”

  I have never felt this good in my life. Right now, I’m experiencing an irritable anxiety (mixed state) and instead of crawling into bed to hide, I’m dressed and warmed up for the gym. I’m not imposing my irritability on the people I love—road rage does not count—and I’m not burrowing into a holeContinue reading “Part Two: How Treated Bipolar II Presents to Those Who Love You”

She is made of ravens and wolves. She moves like midnight. Stumbling in her dark, I feel the hot breath of mortality against my cheek. I chained her struggle beneath my skin until I learned that she made me —not prey —not pray. Her claw and bite marks form a dream catcher of scars withinContinue reading “Beautiful Nightmare”

Warrior, the Shades can torture only those who acquiesce. Do not look back, for Love will follow you from Hell if you endure. ©2017 I.O. Kirkwood. All Rights Reserved. #fallingtoblack

WARNING: This is a very sensitive, even volatile, subject. If you want to respond, please do so when your rational mind is engaged. Step away, think about how you feel, and comment appropriately. Be respectful, be kind, and be informed. Mr. Cornell most likely committed suicide because he was on an anti-depressant that made himContinue reading “SUICIDE: How You Can Help Yourself”

  I traced your inked skin with my fingers, studied the history of your hell, plucked the piercings that recreated your pain, that displayed your shame. I could not protect you from the Monster under the bed who, on occasion, joined the family at the breakfast table and sipped coffee. Your anger poisoned the pranaContinue reading “The Alchemist”

One time, I thought I was clinically depressed and my mother cajoled me into driving an hour to her house. I hadn’t showered for several days, relying instead on a “European” bath of baby wipes and wet washcloths. I hadn’t spoken to her in weeks (!). I stripped out of the sleep pants and tee-shirtContinue reading “Part One: How Untreated Bipolar II Presents to Those Who Love You”